Understanding Dissociation: It’s More Common Than You Think
By Krista Boncheff, LCSW, ADC
Have you ever driven home and suddenly realized you don’t remember the drive? Or caught yourself zoning out in a conversation and missing what someone said? That’s dissociation — and while the word itself might sound intimidating, it’s something nearly everyone experiences from time to time.
When people hear dissociation, they often think of Multiple Personality Disorder or movies like Split or Sybil. Unfortunately, Hollywood has sensationalized and distorted what dissociation actually is, leaving those who live with it feeling misunderstood or even ashamed.
Today, what was once called Multiple Personality Disorder is known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). While DID can be complex, it’s also far more common, human, and adaptable than most people realize.
Dissociation Exists on a Spectrum
Think of dissociation like a color gradient — starting with white, fading through shades of gray, and deepening into black.
On the white end, you’ll find the everyday dissociation most people experience: driving somewhere and not remembering the trip, zoning out when tired, or daydreaming during a meeting.
In the gray areas, things feel a bit more detached. You might feel like you’re not real, as if you’re in a dream or watching your life through a fog. Some people feel younger than their current age or have moments where they don’t fully recognize themselves in the mirror.
Toward the black end, dissociation can become more intense. People may lose chunks of time or discover notes, drawings, or belongings they don’t remember creating or buying. This kind of memory loss can feel unsettling and confusing.
If any of this sounds familiar, please know this is not bad or wrong. It is your mind’s way of protecting itself from distress. Dissociation is a protective response — your brain’s way of keeping you safe when something feels too overwhelming to handle.
Why Dissociation Happens
During an overwhelming or traumatic event, your body does something quite incredible — it protects you by disconnecting. Your nervous system essentially says, “This is too much… we don’t need to be here right now.” The thinking part of your brain (your prefrontal cortex) temporarily goes offline so you can survive whatever is happening.
This process is brilliant in its own way — it helps you endure experiences that might otherwise be unbearable. But sometimes, that protective mechanism keeps activating even when you’re safe, leaving you feeling disconnected, foggy, or “not all here.”
You might even notice different parts of yourself — emotional states, ages, or voices — that seem to take over at times. If that’s happening, you’re not alone. It simply means your mind did what it needed to help you survive. Healing is about gently bringing those parts back into connection, safely and with compassion.
What’s Coming Next
Throughout this blog series, we’ll explore:
What dissociation really is
The neurobiology behind it
Grounding techniques that help bring you back to the present
Evidence-based therapies that support healing — including somatic and parts-based approaches
How loved ones can best offer support when dissociation feels intense
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
If you’ve ever felt disconnected from yourself or your surroundings, please know you’re not alone — and you don’t have to stay that way. Your mind learned how to protect you; now, together, we can help it learn how to help you feel safe being here.
If you’re ready to begin that process, schedule a session today. Together, we can create a space where every part of you feels seen, supported, and safe to heal.
Krista Boncheff LCSW, ADC
Embodied Renewal Counseling
3740 Rogers Ave.
Fort Smith, AR 72903
479-262-0342
kristacounselingllc@gmail.com.
Now accepting Arkansas and Oklahoma (telehealth only) clients!